"You should have thrown them out by now." "The house is definitely yours." "You are entitled to half of the assets." Those are some of the pieces of unsolicited advice you are likely to receive from your friends, colleagues, or family members if you are going through a divorce. However, you shouldn't rush to put such advice into action. Here is what you should do instead:
Share Your Opinions with Your Loved Ones
If you can be objective, you can share your opinion with your loved ones and explain your position. Don't be defensive or apologetic, just be frank and tell them what you have decided and why. For example, if your parents advise you to kick your partner out of the house, and you fear that it may disrupt your children's lives too abruptly, tell your parent about it. You can also explain to your parents that you can't throw out your partner without the court's approval even if you wanted to.
Tell Your Loved Ones to Stop Giving You Advice
Even if they are well-meaning, some people may be overenthusiastic in giving you advice. They may make themselves unofficial divorce lawyers, telling you which motions to file, how to negotiate for a better settlement, and such things. If you are fed up with such advice, tell the advice-givers to stop doing it. Being silent about it may only make them feel that you appreciate their input.
You can tell them to stop with the advice without being rude about it. For example, you can tell them that you don't need any advice at the moment and that all you need is a listening ear for comfort. You can also tell them that you know they mean well but that the only advice you need now is that of your lawyer.
Run the Advice by Your Lawyer
Some of the advice you will receive will be obviously flawed while others may look valuable to you. However, it's important not to put anything into practice without consulting your divorce lawyer first. Your loved ones may be well-meaning, but they aren't well versed in divorce law, and they don't have experience handling divorce cases. Therefore, they may swear that something is right, necessary, or legal, only for it to turn out later to be bad advice or even illegal. Therefore, run every advice you receive by your lawyer before taking any action.
Divorce is an expensive and emotionally torturous process. You should not let the advice of your loved ones make the process even more complicated for you. Talk with a lawyer, such as Susan M Caplin, for more information and professional advice.
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